In the last post we talked about planning for the drama that seems to arrive when you are on your way to becoming a successful student. But how do you handle drama that comes without any warning? How do you deal with the drama that arrives when you do not have a plan? Here is what you want to do:
#1. Identify The Type of Drama: What kind of drama is it? Is it marital, car trouble, in-laws, grades in a class, health related, boyfriend/girlfriend, job related–what kind of drama is it? If you don’t identify it, then it will take on an identity of its own. It can become something bigger or smaller than what it needs to be because you have not named it for what it really is.
#2. Categorize It’s Solution Level: There are only two categories for every problem in your life. Your problem is either one that can be solved by you or one that can be solved by someone else. A flat tire is not someone else’s problem–it is MY problem and I can fix it so that moves it immediately to the next step. World hunger is not a problem that I can solve on my own right now–it is a problem that will require me and everyone else to work together towards a solution. That will have to wait. What do I look like running off to solve world hunger while my car sits in the middle lane of the interstate? So if it is a problem that only others can help you solve then find those people and submit your problem. If it is something that YOU must solve, then go to step three.
#3. Identify Your Resources and Ask Questions: This is usually where people fail. They expect to speak with one person and resolve the issue. Sometimes, the issue requires multiple phone calls, office visits, paperwork, documentation, emails, misinformation, etc. People don’t want to go through any of that these days so they simply quit. Please realize that when you get to stage three, this is when you become Sherlock Holmes and Batman. You become a detective and you piece together the clues to determine who you need to talk to. This will require you to ask questions. Questions are your greatest weapon because every question can lead you to an answer. the only way that you do not gain the most effective answer is to stop asking effective questions. Write down your questions before you ask them and keep track of the answers. Ask the same questions in different ways and watch how much new information you will receive. Most people do not ask questions out of fear of rejection. They feel that when they ask questions that they are no longer in control–but you ARE in control when it is the other persons responsibility to answer questions 🙂
#4. Realize That You Are Not The First: This is the one step that is the most difficult to fulfill. When you take this step out must release some of your bragging rights and rights to cry and complain in order to pull this step off. You are not the first to go to school during a divorce, you are not the first to lose a child, you are not the first to fail a class, and you are not the first to be taken advantage of. There is a process for fixing your problem and there are people who are willing to help. And if they are not willing, it’s at least their job to try and help.
I had some issues with my car one day. It required a new seal for an oil gasket and the guys wanted to charge $500 for the job. I simply did not have that and I needed a way to get to work. So, I asked 2 or 3 mechanics (step 1) to help me identify the problem. Sure enough, it was the seal. Then I asked them if this was something that I could fix (step 2) alone and they said yes. That is when I took to the internet to find online mechanics who labelled the process for putting one on step by step (step 3) because I knew that I was not the first one to ever have to do this alone (step 4). If you go into your school year with these four steps in your pocket, it can truly turn the tide of life issues by turning your drama into moments of growth.