“What’s The Phone Number For 911?”

I’ve actually heard those words come out of someones mouth before, during an emergency situation. Before you start throwing rocks (and after your laughter dies down) you should know that when you don’t ask for help when you really need it, you’re no better than the person who makes this colorful statement (OUCH).

Sometimes fear is just a four letter roadblock between you and doing the impossible.

‘Not asking for help‘ was one of my greatest downfalls as a student. I have a couple of reasons why…along with solutions to each. I will give the first one this week, and second one next week:

(1) “I Am Scared Of What Everyone Will Think/Say”: This is the number one reason why people usually do not ask questions in class, email questions to the teacher, or post questions on the discussion boards. It isn’t really that you are afraid of what they will say–it’s deeper than that. I was afraid of being vulnerable. When I say “Why does NaCl dissociate in water–and what does “dissociate” mean?” I am exposing my ignorance on a topic to the public. It really doesn’t help your cause when the people engaged in conversation seem to know exactly what is going on and you don’t.

SOLUTION: The first thing that you need to understand is that ignorance and stupidity are two totally different things. Ignorance is simply a lack of knowledge. We’re ALL ignorant of SOMETHING, so don’t focus on the fact that you ‘don’t know’–THAT’S why you should be asking questions. Stupidity is actually when you know that you do not have the knowledge of a thing, you have the opportunities for obtaining that knowledge,  but ignore that knowledge and that opportunity, and make decisions that should/could be made only with that knowledge. People who don’t know the equation for measuring the distance of a star in a neighboring galaxy are not stupid–they are just ignorant of that equation. People who are stupid are folks who think that 500 hours of playing Call of Duty equals 500 hours of real-life combat zone experience–they assumed that, even though their friends spent months training at Ranger School, that there was no need to even ask their friends what that training was like because they made themselves self-proclaimed experts. It is okay “Not to know”–that’s why you are asking the question. Questions are simply ways of communicating about things that we do not know. There is almost always someone else in the crowd with the same question that you have–and there are always two or three more who wish that they had asked your question first! One of the best ways to overcome this fear of being vulnerable is to write your question out before or after class–but research the correct terminology to use. Instead of using the word “thingy”, use your textbook to find out what the chemical is actually called. Find words that relate to the topic that is being discussed and pick words that you are comfortable saying. And if you are not comfortable saying them–PRACTICE. None of this will work if you NEVER say the words out loud. Your goal is to replace your fear with CONFIDENCE, not KNOWLEDGE. You are asking questions to gain the knowledge that you do not know, but you require confidence to raise your hand 🙂

The second one is coming soon, so stay tuned…

It’ll Cost Ya

Anything valuable enough to transform your life will come with a price tag that cannot be covered by mere pocket change. If the amount of currency required to cover the cost does not remain a persistent memory then your respect for that purchase will be diminished.

What some people don’t realize is that the price to be paid may be like a restaurant meal: you don’t know the total cost until you are done. Sometimes you do not see the full and total bill until you finish school–and then you realize what it really cost you.

I have had the pleasure of meeting many students who know the true cost of their education, but I still meet those who have no clue. If you do not place a high enogh value on education, then you will never be willing to pay the price for it: both in tuition and work ethic.

Just…Shut…Up…

It’s a day that still lingers in the back of my mind. I’m embarrassed by it like it happened yesterday. I think I was 20 years old, in a Psychology 201 class. The professor was a young lady, somewhere around early thirties or maybe really late twenties. The class was rather large and crammed into a large and awkward classroom that was not really all that conducive to running an effective lecture. And there I sat on the front row because it was one of the only seats left.

I already had some negative feelings towards the class because I had always thought that psychology was for quacks. I thought that the mind should be something that was embraced and not over-analyzed, so I thought that all psychologists were nuts. As class moved just 3 weeks into the semester my instructor began to tell us about this new theory that she was absolutely crazy about. Some guy had done some research on some neighborhoods in some city about some young males and some doomsday-type data.

She went on to tell us that this guys’ theory states that our very environment shapes and molds our way of thinking to the point that it can lead us into subliminal cycles of destruction without us even knowing it.

B…o…r…i…n…g.

As I slipped in and out of consciousness I noticed that there was a map on the projector screen. It was a map of a city–my home city to be exact. I also noticed that there was one neighborhood that was circled and highlighted on the entire map.

“His theory states that these cycles are broad and destructive and can happen to anyone within the sphere of enfluence. He learned that any African American male who is born and raised in this highlighted circle would have a criminal record, have a child out of wedlock and/or not make it to college by the age of 20”, said the instructor. I paused and began to stare. The circled area included my home zip code…I was 20…I had no kids…I had no criminal record…and I was insulted.

The next five minutes were quite interesting. I challeneged her theory–out loud. I embarrassed her in front of about 135 students. She attempted to rebound with a joke about my intellegence. I returned fire and totally toasted her with a highly intellectual joke. I won. Right?

I lost.

For the rest of that semester, she made my life a living hell. She took every moment to embarrass me. The other students isolated me. No one would do group work with me. Things occurred that semester in my personal life that required flexibility from my teachers so that I could break away from my academic work to get a grip on the situation at hand–can you guess who didn’t flex one bit? By the time I got out of her class, my ego felt like it got caught in a marital spat between the Incredible Hulk and Godzilla. I learned a valuable lesson that semester as I received my “C that could have been an A that was really a D but she passed me so that she didn’t have to look at me again“. They are three words that can make an instructor your ally and grateful resource. They are three words that can expand your social network and hide you from the fruit of stupidity. Take the advice from the title of this blog as well as my story and just…shut…up…

This Class Is Stupid–I Quit! (Questions 7 and 8)

Question #7: Am I studying or am I struggling?

Sometimes we want to retreat because the opposition is difficult. You know what I mean: you begin studying for a test two days before the test when the difficulty of the class requires for you to begin studying a week before the test. If that is the case, then you are not struggling–you simply need to work on your studying. However, if no amount of help is helping you in that class and it is the only class that seems to be posing a problem then baling out might be an option. However, before baling out you will want to speak with the instructor about what you could have done to have been able to stay in the game. Why? Because if this is a required class then you will have to re-visit it again anyway…you might as well have the 411. BE HONEST with this one. Evaluate what you are doing versus what is required for the class CLOSELY. You could very well be one study group session a week from passing the class.

Question #8: Where is my schedule? Do I have one?

College has a dark, sinister secret: if you cannot manage a schedule AND make that schedule work for you then you are in for a frustrating ride. I have watched people manage a schedule, but they were unable to get it to work for them. When I mean a schedule, I don’t mean a class schedule–I’m talking life schedule. I will never forget the day that I forgot that there was an exam. I walked into class, sat down, and began pulling out my notes and noticed that everyone else was putting everything away. I cried the entire exam. Tears flowed as I prayed for a miracle. Well, I failed that exam, and I received a lesson for my miracle. That lesson was that I needed to schedule my life and tell my hours where to go. “Your hours are employees–so put them to work” (Dr. Mike Murdock). If you do not know the plan for tomorrow then tomorrow will create a plan for you. More than likely, you will not like that plan, and it will take you in the opposite direction in which you wanted to go. When you do not plan to pass, you plan to fail…

This Class Is Stupid–I Quit! (Questions 5 and 6)

Question #5: Is this class part of my Major?

If the answer is “Yes”, then you will want to asnwer the other nine questions before dropping this class. The reason is simple: if it is part of your Major, then you will have to take the class at some time or another in order for you to escape…er, I mean, graduate. If you ever plan on dropping a class that is part of your Major, always have a PLAN as to 

(a) When will you take this class again? (semester, day vs. night, cost per credit hour, which campus, etc)

(b) If I was barely passing or failing when I dropped this class, how will I pass the next time?

(c) Do I have support and resources for the next time that I take this class? 

Question #6: Who told me to take this class?

If you are dropping the class because someone gave you false information about the class and it has turned out to not be what you thought it was going to be then by all means feel free to drop it. But ask yourself this question: why did I sign up for this class? If your answer is “because someone told me to” then I would like to get your contact information because I have a white elephant to sell you. You should always know why you are taking a class–and if your advisor (whether it be an Academic Advisor or your cousins Pookie and Ray Ray) says why, then make sure that you understand and agree with their “why”. Your transcript will hae your name on it, not theirs–so know why you make the choices that you do or you will continue to pass your right of choice on to others and attempt to pass the blame for failure on to others rather than learning from this mistake.